Thursday, June 24, 2010

Reality Bites....

I've been a bad blogger and I haven't updated you on a sensitive subject but I was honestly waiting for the outcome to write this post. Remember back in April I wrote about the decision to not invite his father? If not, click here.

About two weeks into May I got a text message from my FI saying to send an invitation to his father and not asking any questions and to just trust him. Ok. I wasn't exactly happy with that text but I trust him and I sent it out that day. I honestly did not think that was a smart idea because I'm sure by now (this was in May) that they got word other family members received invitations and they didn't. I was right. His sister mentioned to us over Memorial Day weekend that their father was upset he didn't get an invitation. Now it looks like we sent one just because he was upset when really my FI wanted to do the right thing and let this be his last attempt at reconnecting with his father.

It makes me sick to my stomach waiting for their reply. RSVP due date was June 1st and of course we still get responses to this day. And today was the day I opened up the envelope and saw this:

Sorry for the sideways photo but my computer is being weird and it automatically uploads like this! So tilt your head to the side if you haven't already and take a look.
CLEARLY they checked off 'will attend home reception' and then crossed it out. On purpose? By accident? Definitely on purpose and to make a point. I'm livid and I'm hurt. Its not that I didn't see this coming but you always hope to see the good in people. I called John up and told him and he just said "ok" like it was nothing. I know what happens when he is quiet like that. It will take a couple minutes to sink in before the emotion starts to show. A few minutes later I got a text saying that he will cut them a check for $800 (if you don't remember that story click on the link above) that he owes them (from 2002!) and a letter to his father which he says will now be easy to write. That's $800 that could be used to celebrate our wedding without them BUT its his money and if that's what it takes to end this chapter in his life than I'll stand by him. I don't agree but I support him.
I know that we are only months away (86 days to be exact!) from our wedding and to focus on this negative energy is a waste of time. We have the people we love sharing our special day with us and that's what should matter most. Gosh, it's easier said than done! I want to send back the RSVP card in a frame that's engraved saying "Best Dad Ever!" It's taken a lot of strength to hold back from dialing his step-mother and going off on her. But I won't.

I will just sit back and hope one day his father looks back and realizes how big of a mistake he made by not being part of his son's life. Karma.....(and now I break into a little singing ditty of Justin Timberlakes "what goes around comes around" LOL...laughter is good).
Any drama making your blood boil lately? Do you find the closer the date, the more emotions come out (i.e. drama)?


  1. OMG I would have been LIVID! That is such a horrible, HORRIBLE thing to do. FI is better off without him. (as much as that sucks) At least FI tried an at least sent him an invite (although now it seems he was better off not sending one at all...)

    I'm having my own in-law drama in regards to our wedding. It's horrible. Weddings bring out the worst in some people... :(

  2. oh my gosh. more than livid i think i would have felt so hurt and just sad for your FI- i'm so sorry he has to deal with that. and nice to throw salt in the wound by putting all their names on it (which PS - did you invite kids?), then saying "yes" then scribbling it out? really? why even send a response!!! i'm so sorry. hopefully you can put this behind you and not even think twice about it again as you continue on with your planning.

  3. Thank you guys for letting me vent! It's so sh*tty. I did invite kids and I feel bad that they won't get to look up to a big step-brother. All I can keep saying is Karma.....

  4. This sucks so bad. I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry for you guys! Just know that on your wedding day you'll be surrounded by the people who really matter in your life and love you guys!

  5. so sorry about this. It sounds like A) you guys have always been the mature ones and have taken the higher road. B) you will have the ones that love you and care about you guys there the day of the wedding and thats all that matters. C) your fiance sounds amazing! I bet that letter is something that he has been wanting to do for YEARS and now it's the right time. Please remember that even though that $800 COULD go to your wedding and WILL HELP (I know how it is to save every penny for the wedding) it will be worth it to send to him, still taking the higher road and to move on.

  6. @ Lindsey Lea - Yeah as hard as it is to take the higher road at times that's what we keep doing and how I was raised. He sent me the letter today and it was written well and had it's tasteful digs/points to have a clean slate with the money and to never contact us again. I like how he wrote "You have proven to live up to my expectations" because his action wasn't a surprise to him. It's exactly what he needed to move on. He was better without him in his life before anyways.

    It's just hard for me since I came from a completely different background. He's had 24 years to accept disappointment where I've only started experiencing this the past 2 years or so. I'm still so very angry and mad and he is content. So it's going to take me a little longer to be ok.

    Thanks for your support everyone!